It's One, Two, Three Strikes You're Out...

Last night I was watching the world series when I finally couldn't take it and gave up. For one, I don't really watch sports, let alone baseball. I'm not much of a fan. But what I realized last night is just how disgusting baseball really is.

I mean, for crying out loud, why... WHY?!?!?! must every baseball player sit there and SPIT all over the place? Every two seconds someone on the TV was spitting.

Spitting on the field, spitting in the dugout, spitting on the pitchers mound, spitting on base, spitting between pitches, spitting after running, spitting after catching a ball. Just SPIT SPIT SPIT!

It's gross. And quite frankly, totally unattractive, and totally disgusting.

And to top it off, yesterday when I was leaving the mall during my lunch break (see yesterday's post about replacing my holy sweater) some gross disgusting man shot a loogie right in front of me as I was walking to my car. I literally had to step over it to avoid getting all that green sticky grossness on my shoes.

SPITTING IS A DISGUSTING HABIT! It's right up there with smoking. I don't care if you are a baseball player in the World Series. JUST STOP IT!

P.S. Go Phillies.

Is It Feeling a Bit Breezy in Here?

My winter wardrobe is in need of a few basics. Now, if you were to ask my husband if I needed new clothes, he'd laugh and goff at you explaining that he barely has enough room in OUR closet to put HIS stuff because my stuff is taking over. But then again, what husband wouldn't say his wife needs another sweater like she needs a whole in the head?

HOWEVER.

When living in Utah, one knows that winter lasts much longer than summer. Chunky sweaters, scarves, coats, pants, turtle necks, mittens, gloves, and fuzzy socks galore are very much a necessity considering it's icy cold in these here Rockies from October to at least April (usually May). It always snows at least once before Halloween (example: Tuesday of this week), and it just makes sense that your winter wardrobe in Utah is larger than your summer one. Even though we like to say that we get to have seasons like spring and fall, we actually just pretend we get to, cuz it makes us feel better.

I have quite a few sweaters, but since I don't wash sweaters after every single time I wear them (usually because I wear an undershirt of some sorts under them), they tend to stay looking newer longer. This keeps me from having to purchase a bunch each time winter rolls around. BUT- last winter Michael and I were closing on our new home. I was busy buying furniture, decorations, new towels, shower curtains, blankets, kitchen items, baskets, wall hangings, and home decor galore. I did not spend a single penny on my wardrobe (as hard as it might be for some to believe that, it's the truth). I splurged on my home and I don't regret having done so.

I also haven't asked for clothes for Christmas for the past two years because I was busy asking for house things. I got married in 2007 so the Christmas of 2006 was filled with home appliances and things of that nature. The Christmas following our wedding was filled with things that we didn't get at our wedding. And Christmas last year was filled with more house things like the beautiful formal 9 piece dining room table that my mom and dad bought us, and the casual dining table for the kitchen nook that grandma bought us. I think maybe I got a pair of PJ's and some socks in terms of clothing, but everything else was house wares.

So this year, when I went to pull my winter clothes out of the closet, I noticed that some of them looked pretty tattered. And, before I put them away last year, I did a thorough spring clean and got rid of three containers worth of old turtle necks, sweaters that were covered in those little threads of balls that collect all over them, sweaters that I had worn for three years that simply didn't fit because of the extra weight I've put on in the past little while, and stuff that was simply out of style. Needless to say, I don't quite have the winter wardrobe I like to have when thinking about the next 7 months.

To prove how sad my winter wardrobe has gotten, I quickly pulled a sweater over my head this morning and drove to work. Yet, at work I kept feeling this cold chill on my back. I reach over and felt a gigantic hole where the seam was connecting the left sleeve to the body of the sweater. I had just sat through two meetings with my arm and armpit fully exposed. Classy, you betcha. I would have taken a picture to post, but I quickly decided against humiliating myself more.

So on my lunch break I ran to the closest mall and replaced the rag I was wearing with a chunky black sweater (and yes, it was on sale). I know I shouldn't be spending money on clothes as the holidays are quickly approaching (including my mother's birthday) and we're trying to pay off credit cards, student loans, and save up for our big kitchen remodel, but I am in desperate need (do you like that emphasis there?) of some new pants for work, winter tops, and perhaps a new winter coat that fits better. I'm usually the one with plenty of options when it comes to my wardrobe, but not this year :(

Good thing Christmas is coming (although I prefer others don't buy clothes for me). Hello gift cards?

Gravity

Sometimes you come across a song, a poem, or just any little thing that puts into words so much of how you feel, and what you haven't been able to put into words yourself. For me, that little piece of something is the song Gravity by Sarah Bareilles. If you haven't listened, you should :)

Here are the lyrics-

Gravity

Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long.
No matter what I say or do I'll still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone.

You hold me without touch.
You keep me without chains.
I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love and not feel your reign.

Set me free, leave me be.
I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity.
Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be.
But you're on to me and all over me.

You loved me 'cause I'm fragile.
When I thought that I was strong.
But you touch me for a little while and all my fragile strength is gone.

I live here on my knees as I try to make you see
That you're everything I think I need here on the ground.
But you're neither friend nor foe though I can't seem to let you go.

The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down.
Something always brings me back to you.It never takes too long.

H A Double L O W Double E N

Halloween rocks my socks off. I simply love it. I love the smells in the air of moist soil under my shoes, dying leaves, and the crispness in the air. I love the smell of soups simmering on the stove, and hot rolls in the oven. Basically, I love everything about this season, including the holiday that kicks it all off.

This weekend was filled with Halloween goodness. The festivities kicked off on Friday night with my kitchen filled with plump orange pumpkins, various carving tools, piles of pumpkin guts, carving templates, a white-trash table cloth to dispose of the ooey-gooey pumpkin-carving party evidence, and 6 adults who were on a Halloween candy sugar high.

The pumpkins turned out fan-freakin-tabulous and they looked so cute sitting on the perimeter of my deck. Quite some talented carving folks we are, if you ask me. And you didn't really, but I'm telling you anyway :)

Saturday was fun as well. Michael and I spent the greater half of the day preparing for our Halloween shin-dig. There was cleaning to be done (especially after the pumpkin carving party) and there were goulies to make and witches to brew.

Started early on my carmel popcorn balls (the popcorn needed time to set up before I could roll the balls and put them in my festively decorated cellophane bags). I popped 5 bags of popcorn (burning half of one so the house smelled just lovely) and got working on the carmel sauce on the stove. Michael helped me get the popcorn covered with the sugary goodness, and roll the balls. They turned out AWESOME! And I didn't even burn myself with the hot carmel (or the dog which is amazing considering her favorite place to be while I'm cooking is right under my feet, under the stove). So to say the least, I was pretty satisfied.

I also made clam dip (don't knock it till you try it) and Halloweenies (yeah you read that right, and they're little cocktail sausages that marinate in brown sugar, grape jelly and bbq sauce so don't knock those till you try them either).

The chips were bought, the table was set with cute paper plates and foil autumn leaves confetti, and the guests were arriving.

There was socializing inside, as well as around the fire pit on the deck (which was lit with orang/purpleish Halloween lights, and the pumpkins from the night before).

We ended up in the basement playing Rockband (which is always a favorite of mine).

Some people came in costume. We had a magician, Caesar, a devil, a horribly dressed person (my husband, in his god-awful red and black shiny shirt that looks like something out of a drag queen/pimp's closet....nothing against a drag queen, but it's just not quite my hubby), and then me. I was kind of a mix between Wednesday Adams, a goth girl, and a witch. Don't ask cuz I dunno. I just know I wasn't wearing my typical everyday gear.

Anyway, this post is getting way too long and it's time for pictures because I actually took some (shocker! I KNOW!). So without further adieu, I present this weekend, in pictures:

They Gnashed Their Terrible Teeth and Rolled Their Terrible Eyes

Here's a recap of how our movie experience of "Where The Wild Things Are" went down on Friday night:

The night Michael wore his bad-boy jacket and experienced movie mischeif of one kind or another, I almost called him "The Wild Thing". But he probably would have threatened me by shouting "I'll eat you up!" and I would have had to send him to bed without any popcorn.

.

That very night in the movie theatre, the walls around Michael's seat grew smaller and smaller. And the young man sitting next to him grew more and more annoying with every elbow jab, munch of his popcorn, and ring of his cell phone.

This went on for what seemed like over a year and in and out of weeks and through a day and into the night until Michael couldn't take it anymore. And that's when we came to the place where I met "The Wild Things." Michael and the annoying idiot next to him roared their terrible roars and gnashed their terrible teeth and rolled their terrible eyes and showed their terrible claws- till Michael said to him "BE STILL! And it'd be nice if you'd turn off your cell phone".

.

And I was very frightened of what the inconsiderate fool might do to Michael, but I thought of Michael as the most Wild Thing of all, and made him King of all Wild Things in my mind.

But I was afraid that after the movie, Michael would yell "Let the WILD RUMPUS START!" And I would have to yell "NOW STOP!" and send Michael off to the car without a refill of his popcorn.

But when the movie was over, Michael and the other Wild Thing didn't roar their terrible roars and gnash their terrible teeth and roll their terrible eyes and show their terrible claws.

Nope, Michael stepped into his private car and we waved good-bye to our friends, and drove back over a year and in and out of weeks and through a day and into the night to our very own house where KeeLee was patiently waiting for us. And I looked at my perturbed Michael in his bad-boy jacket and said to him "And you're still hot."

Haunted

It was so long ago, I don't even remember all the details
Except for the cobalt that pierced my soul
Except for the mystery that I'd never solve
Those things I'll remember forever.
It took me too long to let him go
And maybe a small part of me never really has
And maybe a small part of me never really will
And maybe that's okay, for now

I've had this dream all my life
And I'm finally living it,
And it's more perfect than I could have ever pictured it
But somewhere in the twilight, I've heard him call my name
Once, or maybe twice
It sends shivers down my spine and forces me to admit
He taunts me

He's like a memory that won't fade
A line that can't be erased
The buckled flaw on a fine finished coffee table that never goes away
Reminding me that he was once there when he shouldn't have been
And there was no coaster to dissipate the evidence of his presence

And sometimes when I close my eyes, I remember all too vividly
I hear words that were never spoken
I see a Cheshire smile that made all his flaws disappear
I feel the welcomed pressure of his presence smothering me
And then I remember how he would leave
And why I finally said goodbye for good

But, sometimes, when the smell of frost fills the night
I let myself think about those days
And sometimes, when the house is dark except for moonlight cascading on the stair case
I wonder what if, where, and why

And sometimes, for no reason at all
When I don't even want to remember

He haunts me

Looks Like Rain

“So it’s a lonely world, and it’s feeding time for your ego. Again. Who is going to be the spoon this time?”

How honest her words as they gently fell off her tongue hoping to land on something less tense. “I’m sorry, although once attracted to you, I find myself distracted now as you once were, by other things, other ideas, other people. And I’m paying the price for the me that I was in another life, one which you know nothing about.”

He didn’t understand. Why would he? He thought he was still looking at the same women he left. He didn’t see the changes in her body language, as she stood stilted looking out his hotel window towards the view. Her eyes desperately searching for any sort of reason to be out there, free in the night instead of seconds away from regretful temptation.

He couldn’t read the way she carried herself across his room to gather her purse. He didn’t feel the way her body froze when he tried to put his arms around her and pull her close, or the lack of heat in her lips when he kissed her goodnight. He didn’t hear the change in her voice let alone the words she spoke. Simply, he didn’t sense that anything was wrong.

“Don’t want to forget this,” she said, grabbing her jacket. “Looks like rain tonight.”

And with that she left. She had to. She couldn’t go back to what she used to have. She didn’t want it anymore. She was content not having him, but if she were to stay just a minute more, her mind would start playing tricks on her. And as she left his room, letting the door shut gently behind her, she thought she heard him mutter something about her silhouette. And how she had left it on his pillow.

Testing... Testing...

*tap tap*

Is this thing on?

Is anyone even out there?

Am I fooling myself to think people read this or is this simply a way for me to gather and express my crazy thoughts?

Anyone?

Bueller?

I Love My Friends

Ya know what?

This week has been shit. And apparently not just for me. So I've decided there's something in the air and it has knocked us all on our butts.

That being said, this is just a little post to tell my friends who read this THANK YOU! Thanks for being there for me. Thanks for letting me vent (no matter how Italian and extreme my rants may be). Thanks for allowing me a safe haven away from all the things that actually are miserable in this world (see yesterday's post if you haven't read it yet).

I have the greatest friends in the world. They listen, and they still love me no matter what. I can't begin to explain how much I look forward to spending Friday nights with them (or Saturdays, or sometimes both). I spend the entire 5 days of my work week anticipating the weekend because I get to spend time with people who understand me, make me laugh, are creative, funny, sincere, and just get my sense of humor.

They say that friends are the family we get to choose, and I couldn't agree more.

Dave- thanks for your comment yesterday. Sorry you're in the same boat I am in this week. We need to sail on into better days. Yay for the Haunted Forest this weekend :)

Marge- I am SO GLAD you guys are coming on the 24th. It's been too long since I've seen you and I miss you tons. And love you tons. And am so grateful that our friendship has endured college and everything beyond (and thanks for the wise and comforting advice).

Amanda- thanks for being there every morning (well, most mornings) on gmail. Just knowing that someone is around while I'm sitting here miserable at my desk is a comfort, and knowing that it's you is that much more of a comfort. You don't know how much you help me get through my crappy work days.

Melissa- I love you. You're my long lost sister. Nuff said :)

Nat- I don't even know if you read my blog, but either way, you keep me laughing. And I love our lunch dates :)

And Hubby o' Mine- You're all the qualities I listed above and more (well, not the long lost sister one) but you get the idea. I love you and am so thankful for you.

Now- Where the hell is my FRIDAY?!?!?!

I Almost Titled This Post the "F" Word. ALMOST.

AAAAHHHHH!!!!!!

I HATE, HATE, HATE, today!!!

It's one of THOSE kinds of days. And my head is ready to explode like a pumpkin being thrown in the streets by unruly teenagers on All Hallows Eve.

GODALMIGHTY!

This bad day actually started with the drive home last night. Yup, LAST NIGHT. I am allowed to have a bad day that actually starts the night before, so get over it.

First of all, I left work at 5:00 and SAT IN TRAFFIC BEHIND A WRECK for longer than I care to mention. Then I dealt with TYPICAL UTAH DRIVERS who feel the need to: speed up (so you can't merge when you have no choice), drive slower than a snail in the fast lane, refuse to signal, slam on breaks, you name it they do it and I hate them for it.

THEN it takes me an hour to get to work this morning. That's right AN HOUR. I leave the house at 8:30 and arrive at 9:23. THAT IS RE-DICK (that's ridiculous in pissed off speak). I'm so tired of driving clear out to BFE for work. I've been doing it my entire career. First job out of college was actually WEST OF THE FLIPPIN AIRPORT (which for those readers not from Utah, that is further than any normal person driving to work should have to drive).

Second job was in RIVERTON (which might as well be west of the airport because it's just as far) Basically if you took the airport and Riverton and drew a line between the two, you've just picked the two points furthest from one another in the Salt Lake City Valley. Now I work in MAGNA. Yup, just one exit shy of the airport exit so I'm right back where I started basically.

I'm DONE!

I'm done with construction.
I'm done with working clear out in no man's land.
I'm done with spending 2+ hours in the car each day to get to and from work.
I'm done with Utah drivers who, oh surprise surprise, CAN'T FUCKING DRIVE!
I'm just done.

Oh, and then to make today even more fun, I get to deal with all the people who want answers regarding projects I have NOTHING, I REPEAT: NOTHING TO DO WITH!

NOTHING!

So as a responsible employee, I try to find the people who do have something to do with the projects in question, and direct the one with the answers to the person asking the question. But my favorite part? MY FAVORITE PART? The person WITH the answer wants to vent to me about how so and so asking the question seems to be confused. And get this: They actually want me to tell that person that he/she IS CONFUSED. Um, no? I didn't volunteer to make enemies today.

Guess what folks, I don't care if you think the person asking the question seems to be confused. The point is, you owe that person an answer. An answer that you should share DIRECTLY with that person and not me. Why? Because I'm not the one asking the question, and asking you to help does not make me involved. You two go hack out your differences. You two go work out what should be done.
LEAVE ME OUT OF WHAT DOES NOT IMPLY TO ME!

*taking a deep breath*

Today I'm contemplating moving to Antarctica. All I'm packing is long underwear and a lifetime supply of Dr. Pepper and Xanax. Oh, and if you know of any sane jobs in that area, that don't require being the middle man, or include unreasonable expectations of things that do not fall within the actual job description, please, PLEASE send them my way.

Can You Believe It?

I have a cute little pen-pal in Aurora Colorado. Before my grandmother died, she came to visit us in Price. I was only in 6th grade, but she made such an impression on me. This woman was the hippest, cutest, and sweetest woman. Here's a little example of how cool she was. She didn't like her birth given name and therefore she changed it. To "Babe" and I love her for that. She was my grandma's best friend and well, Grandma had excellent taste.

So, after Babe left town I began writing to her. And she began writing me back. We've stayed in contact for the past well.... A LOT OF YEARS considering this friendship started when I was about 11, that I'm now a grown woman, married, and finished with my masters. Not a Christmas goes by where we don't send each other a card. And then there's usually the random letter every few months just to say hello and let each other know we're doing well and livin' life.

Yesterday I was itching for some creativity so I pulled out my Stampin' Up! supplies and hand stamped this cute fall card to send to Babe with a happy Halloween message. I had so much fun making the card that I decided to make an envelope template and create a matching envelope too. To my surprise, the card turned out really cute and I was excited for Babe to receive it. I slapped a stamp on it and walked out to my mailbox and put it inside, shut the lid, and lifted the flag to alert the postman to take my letter.

This morning my husband called me on his way to work (I was still home getting ready for my work day). He asked me if I had changed my mind about sending the letter, because when he left this morning he noticed that the lid to the mailbox was down, and the letter was gone but the flag was still up.

"No, I didn't change my mind. You mean to tell me that my letter is missing?"

"Yup, not there, and I don't think the wind would have blown the lid open."

"Me either, that lid shuts tight."

"Well, a lot of times people get mail stolen around the first of the month because bills are due and so others are out there looking for money (checks) so they take the mail."

Here is a picture of the cute card I made that Babe will never receive.

I'm so disappointed in society. It's a sad day when you can't even put a letter in your mailbox.

Schmoopy and His New Toy

So Michael went out today and bought an iPhone. I think it's because I bought one last Tuesday and he has been secretly envious of me since. He's a huge fan of all things new that have anything to do with "technology" and usually is the first one to make such a purchase. Except this time. He claims he was letting me be the guinea pig.

I don't mind though :) Now he's a happy boy with his new toy. I only threatened him when he wanted to buy the same lime green protector that I have. We don't need two green iPhones in the house. That would have been waaaaayyy too confusing. He settled for blue. Now we just have to make sure we don't fight over who gets which ring tone. If anything, I can always use the argument "It was mine first!"

Surgery Day

Well, today is the big day. Everyone just left the house and headed to the hospital. Mom and Grandma have to check in by 9:30 and then they'll be headed in for the operations. I blogged about the situation before, but just to catch you up if you missed that post, both of them have large holes in their hearts that need to be closed. The holes are causing them to be at high risk for strokes, blood clots, brain damage, and all the awful things you try to avoid if you can.

The doctor read over their MRI results yesterday (they both had scans of their brains done to reveal if any damage had been caused due to their condition). Turns out Mom has a few mini strokes, and Grandma has had many. These mini strokes show up as little white spots on the brain and the MRI can detect these spots.

The good news is that neither of them have suffered major, life altering strokes. Every one they've had has been very small.

The bad news is that once a part of the brain dies, it can never heal or grow back.

The best news is that they are where they should be, in the doctor's care and getting things patched up, literally.

I didn't head down to the hospital yet. My dad and uncle took them both this morning to check in. My two uncles are meeting them there, and I stayed behind to clean up the morning mayhem that attacked my house, feed the dogs, and take a shower before I head down. I didn't want to race down there to sit in the the waiting room. I'm sure I'll be doing a lot of that later today. And besides, the way my brain works, it's better for me to be home and stay busy so I don't go crazy. If I were forced to sit in the waiting room, I'd probably sit there and plague myself with horrible thoughts. I don't need that, and neither do the family members that are able to wait calmly :)

Depending on how things go, I'll post an update when I can. Hoping for the best, so please send your thoughts and prayers our way!

UPDATE: Everything went well. Both Grandma and Mom are doing great, look great, and feel great. Checking out of the hospital this morning. So relieved :)