Wednesday, March 11, 2009

2 Hours of My Life I'll Never Get Back

Setting: Husband standing in Kitchen, wife sitting at kitchen table.
Time: Evening, just after dinner.
Situation: The couple is discussing how to spend a relaxing evening at home.

Wife: "Hey, wanna watch a movie tonight? We can run to Blockbuster and get a new release. They always get new movies on Tuesdays."

Hubby: "OK, sounds good. What do you want to rent?"

Wife: "I think 'Rachael Getting Married' comes out today. Let's get that one. We both like Anne Hathaway, and she got nominated for an Oscar for her role in that one, so it should be pretty good."

Hubby: "Sounds good to me."

Setting: Master Bedroom
Time: Later that evening, after Hubby returns from Blockbuster.

Situation: The couple is watching movie.

Wife: "This movie is kind of boring. I thought it would be better than this. What's the point?"

Husband: "It's too long. How late do you want to stay up watching this? I think I'm actually going to go to sleep."

Wife: "Okay, I'm going to try and finish it since I've already invested an hour in it."

Setting: Master Bedroom
Time: Much later that evening.
Situation: Wife is STILL watching movie, Hubby is sleeping.

Wife thinking to herself: "Can this movie get any worse? Will it just end already? This sucks, I can't believe I've been sitting her for two hours watching such a crappy show. I'm pissed."


So there you have it. Michael and I rented what we thought was supposed to be a good movie. After all, the "critics have been raving about Rachael Getting Married" right? Well, news for the critics. THIS MOVIE SUCKS!

Have you ever watched a movie that was so bad you just HAD to finish it? You figure, well, I've already invested an hour of my time into this story... I guess I better see where it goes (which is usually nowhere). And then... TWO HOURS LATER, you're sitting there pissed off that you didn't turn it off when you began to realize it sucked in the first place and probably wasn't going to get any better?! Yeah- I have a list of THOSE types of movies, and Rachael Getting Married just shot to the top.

Where were the editors on this one? Seriously, it's like they fell asleep in the editing room and just let the film role without making any cuts. I mean really, how long does a wedding reception scene need to last? Do we need to see EVERY.SINGLE.DANCE? Might I add... there is no dialogue happening at this point, just music.

And what's up with the wedding anyway? It's like Indian (dot not feather) meets African, meets American, meets Asian meets CRACK. For the life of me I couldn't figure out why someone would have such a mess of a wedding theme to begin with. It's like cultures vomited all over the set (I have no problem with culture, believe me, but it's like the director just couldn't decide what he wanted so he did a little bit of everything- not a good idea).

Then, to add to the already irreversible wreck of a wedding, the entire plot of the show just sucked. Kim (played by Anne Hathaway) is a recovering drug addict. Everyone else is just f*#@%# up. Excuse the language, but there really is no other word to adequately describe the rest of the characters in this film. They spend the whole time fighting, each of them has a psychological issue, and there's a contest to see who can load the dirty dishes in the dishwasher the fastest. Really. There is. And it's lame.

I need to stop ranting about it because I'm working myself up again and this film really isn't worth my energy. I've already lost two hours of my limited free time to this wreck of a show, and now I've spent another 10 minutes blogging about it. So I'm done.

Just know this: If you consider your free time precious, don't waste it on this film.

UPDATE: We've all experienced the disappointment of wanting so badly to enjoy a nice movie at home or the theatre, only to be pissed off when it's over. Therefore, please share with me a list of your "Don't waste your time watching this because it stinks" movies so the above situation doesn't happen to me again. It would be much appreciated :)


  1. I watched Rachel Getting Married last night with Erin. The whole time we were both saying "What the hell?" Wish I'd have known about this post before I wasted a free Red Box on it. DAMMIT!

  2. OH crap- you shoulda read my blog yesterday. That would have saved you!