Sunday, January 10, 2010

Somedays, I Wish I Had a Wife

I'm sure this thought has crossed the mind of every married woman: "I wish I had a little more help around the house."

Lately, that thought has crossed my mind too.

Recently, Michael and I enjoyed 2 weeks of holiday vacation. However, I think one of us enjoyed it a little more than the other.

Don't get me wrong, Michael did take all the boxes of Christmas stuff downstairs after I spent two days taking it down (by myself). Granted, I'm the one who put it up, so I guess logically, I'm the one who should take it down right? But didn't we ALL enjoy it? Wouldn't someone have said something if I hadn't put the tree up or hung the stockings by the chimney with care? I'm sure the lack of Christmas decor wouldn't have gone unnoticed or unmentioned... so I put it up. And I dare say WE ALL enjoyed it.

Also during the two weeks of "vacation" I did all loads of laundry. Twice. I also cleaned the bathrooms, dusted everything, vacuumed everything, windexed everything, and swept the kitchen floors. I also baked, cooked, loaded and unloaded the dishwasher countless times, folded and put away clean laundry (except I put all of Michael's things in a basket which are new strewn across the floor on his side of the bed or still in said basket), and made sure dinner was on the table every night. ALL BY MYSELF.

Is it any wonder that I returned to work from my holiday "vacation" and got sick? Probably not.

Yes I watched my fare share of movies, and played video games during my time off. But I also made sure all the house work was done too. I didn't spend all day downstairs in the "man cave" in my pj's having not showered, watching football all day. In fact, when this did happen for the umpteenth time, I was upstairs fuming (which is why all Michael's clean laundry ended up in a basket on his side of the bed and not put away; I was annoyed and exhausted).

One night he was downstairs so long playing games that he didn't even make it upstairs to bed. He just stayed in the basement. And all the Christmas lights and bows are still up outside even though the sun is shining and this would be a great day to put it away... His son Kyle went home last Monday after spending two weeks with us, and finally yesterday I went and collected the boxes and wrappers left behind in his bedroom. The bed is still unmade and the sheets haven't been washed, because I keep hoping SOMEONE will realize it would be nice to strip the bed and do the laundry (but it'll probably sit there until I do it because it needs done in time for another house guest).

I'm not writing this post to bash my husband. I love him and he's a good guy. I guess I just wish I didn't feel like the burden of keeping up a 3600 sq ft house falls on me everytime. A marriage is supposed to be team work right? And before you tell me I should talk to Michael about this, I'm well aware that a marriage consists of communication too, but a small part of me is hoping his observation skills will kick in without me having to say something (probably the mistake of many wives).

The floors still need mopped, the rugs need washed, the carved pumpkins from our Halloween party are still sitting on the back deck frozen and covered in snow (and yes, I've asked him many times to throw them away, but apparently the Halloween party was MY party... he wasn't there having fun or carving pumpkins or anything...).

Today? He's upstairs sleeping. Has been for 3 hours now. Yesterday he mentioned he wanted to make sure he "felt like he had a weekend."

I know exactly what it's like to feel that way. I have pretty much felt that way after every weekend. I work a full time job too, and I'm trying to finish my field project. And yes, I have had the last two days off of work, but I've been downing medicine and going through the Kleenexs faster than you can blink.

I don't know if he doesn't recognize all the cleaning projects that need to be done constantly because he's spent the last 5 years living on base in the room the size of a shoe box that didn't require much attention, but something's gotta give. I'm not OCD like some of my friends, but I have a hard time relaxing in a home that isn't clean. And I have a hard time letting messes sit around until someone else notices and takes care of them.

Did I mention that while sick, my husband still came home to a post roast dinner, complete with hot biscuits, mashed potatoes and gravy?

Like I said, I need a wife too.


  1. okay I really hope this post works because I want you to know that you aren't alone. I feel like chris' arms and legs are broken for the most part because he consistently does not put things away or back after use and that BUGS me the most. it's okay though because it lets us learn, not sure what I'm supposed to learn yet but I'm working on it. we had a chore list when we lived in virigina so we could alternate (dishes, laundry, vacuuming, pet related items) it worked well. we stopped doing it, because I didn't plan for it in the knew house. notice how I have to plan for it in order for it to work ;)

  2. Oh Marge- thank you so much for this comment :) I know what you mean about the planning thing to. I'm also the social coordinator of our lives lol.

    Does Chris go to bed and leave all the lights on, too? Or does he never close the cupboards after getting something out of them? INSANE I tell you!

  3. And YET! You have time to blog endlessly. Hmmm... This is the entire "package" you were so desperate to get when you HAD to find a husband, even if you had to search the country!

    AND! The fact that he had a son you hate? and a vasectomy you claim to be unhappy with...

    Geez, Michelle. Grow up. The world does not revolve around you. Ever wonder why your husband falls asleep donwstairs? Not to mention the fact that you do NOTHING but bitch! He probably can't stand your fat ass having to have the 3600 sq ft house to begin with...

  4. Hi John- Quite funny you won't publish your name... I never have had much respect for someone who can't own up to their own words.

    As for your comment:
    1- I didn't search the entire country for a husband. I wasn't even on a "husband search" but was lucky enough to meet an incredible man.
    2- I don't know what you think you've heard, but I don't hate my step-son in the least. A vasectomy I'm unhappy with? Not likely- I knew of Michael's vasectomy prior to our getting married and quite frankly, Michael and I both want children and are willing to deal with whatever challenges we face to have kids.
    3- I know the world doesn't revolve around me, and I would never expect it to. As for how Michael feels, you are mistaken.

    P.S. This is my blog, and I am free to write what I want. If you don't like it, don't read it.

    P.S.S. If you don't like me so much, quite stalking my blog and posting comments anonymously. You're not fooling anyone. And I think we both know who needs to grow up here.

  5. Wow. I have never seen such a cowardly, immature, disrespectful display on someone’s personal blog. John, if you have an issue with Michelle, perhaps you should discuss it with her directly, like an adult. I would prefer to not have to read such trash talking on my friend’s site. But since you posted this for the world to see, I feel obliged to respond. Knock it off, please. Thanks.

    Michelle, the rest of us know that nothing he said is true. You responded with class and honesty, as always. I have nothing but love and respect for you, my dear friend.

  6. Kim- Thanks so much for your support! You are truly a life-long friend (which I can't say for some others, obviously). You're words are an example of what kinds of friendships excel and flourish throughout the years. In our case, since the fifth grade.

    Love you girl!

  7. "Your", not "you're". For someone who pretends to be a word master, you are sorely lacking quite frequently.

  8. In typical John fashion, you can't let it go. Shocker.

    Oh, and actually YOU ARE mistaken. I've never claimed to be a "word master" and I don't claim to be perfect, unlike someone I know. You're just bitter you were caught, John.

    This is getting old. Get over it, really. I already have (including several others).

  9. Michelle, you know I adore you. You and Michael are so cute together and we should all be so lucky as to have a relationship like yours. As for the Kyle situation, you are doing the beat you can with less than ideal cirumstances. Love you!!!

    John, thanks for reminding me why we aren't friends anymore. Stop spreading your misery to everyone else. Like Kim said, if you have a problem with Michelle, grow a set and talk to her about it. Quite being a douchebag.

  10. How does that saying go, those that can't do, teach. Apparently we all need a lesson in how to be better people and since John can't be a good person himself he's teaching the rest of us how to be just like him. I don't even know you Bub and I'm pretty sure I hate you already. Attitudes are contagious and I really don't want to catch yours.

    Michelle has an opinion and it is one of the reasons why we enjoy being friends/associates with her.

    I only wish I was as eloquent as she!

  11. Michelle, the words that come to mind are pathetic, sad, bitter spiteful, hateful. A coward who hides behind the computer. A bully. Anonymous: Is this the person you want to be? Is your life so void of anything rich that this is how you spend your time?

    Michelle- those of us who know & love you say, this person is not worth your energy. Give him no more thought or benefit. Good riddance to the toxic people in life!

  12. Michelle,

    I enjoy reading your blog and it helps me keep in touch when my life is going a million directions. It's unfortunate that Anonymous has to comment ever so rudely. Anonymous - should move on, grow up and get a life.

    "I've learned that no matter what happens, or how back it seems today, life DOES go on and it will be better tomorrow" - Maya Angelou.

    Keep writing. You're true friends know what is true. Lots of Love!

  13. I said it before and I will say it again, oh how Anonymous's (John's) posts make me laugh. And how ironic he chooses to be nameless, faceless, and therefore powerless. Come to think of it...I think Anonymous is the perfect name for him.

    I also find it hilarious that he berates you for that 3600 sq foot home you HAD to have when he made a nice chunk of change off the purchase of said home. I also remember you sitting with him at our kitchen table and spending hours helping him write and edit content for the website he was creating for that real estate business he was trying to start up.

    John - I will always be grateful to you for helping me move to the house on Jeremy. That was truly a selfless act on your part; however, your behavior since has been the epitome of classlessness. I hope one day you are able to realize what valuable friendships you lost as a result.


  14. Anony-John,

    I find it ironic that you comment about how Michelle "blogs endlessly" yet you read her blog often enough to know that?! As for the comment about how "desperate" she was to find this "package", that just sounds like sour grapes - truly sad and pathetic.

    They say that misery loves company, so Anony-John... I can only surmise that you are the miserable and lonely one and you're desperately trying to bring everyone down to your pathetic level! Sounds like you're the one who has some growing up to do.

    For someone who's trying to illustrate how the world does not revolve around Michelle... you're sure spending a lot of time and energy focusing on her. Just a friendly observation.

    Michelle: Clearly Anony-John doesn't know you at all, so I wouldn't take anything this "human being" says to heart! Much luv!

  15. (I thought by deleting a comment it would be totally gone but apparently not...I just wanted to add to what I said).

    I echo what has been said here (with the exception of Anonymous's inane comments), especially what Peros said - good riddance to toxic people!

    And to quote Endora from 'Bewitched', "[Anonymous/John] needs no criticism from me. What's wrong with him is for the whole world to see!"

    And even more importantly, I quote my Grandpa Slack - "Consider the source.":)