Friday, September 18, 2009

Warning: This Is Another Cynical Post

1.21 Billion

Any guesses on what that number represents?

Here, I'll mention it again with a clue: 1.21 Billion DOLLARS

Still need another clue?

How about this: 1.21 Billion Dollars and football.

If you guessed the cost to build the new Dallas Cowboys football stadium in Texas, then WINNA WINNA CHICKEN DINNA!

Yup, that's right. 1.21 BILLION dollars to build the new stadium for FOOTBALL. Sounds totally crucial doesn't it? I mean I can't possibly think of better ways to spend this money than on a football stadium. It would just be totally asinine to pour this money into the school systems so that classrooms aren't over crowded with students while supplies and text books remain outdated and limited at that.

It doesn't make any sense to provide 1.21 billion dollars to local charities that are trying to clothe and feed the needy (don't tell me there aren't needy people in Texas).

And it certainly doesn't make any sense to take 1.21 billion dollars and invest in medical research to promote finding cures to cancer, aids, heart disease, and other forms of terminal illness.

Nope. That would be crazy talk people.

What we need is football. And not just football, but a new 1.21 billion dollar kick ass stadium in which to play football. A place where a suite for the season will run you $200,000 bucks. Oh you want a suite for longer than a season? As in a lifetime? Okay sure. That'll be 2 million.

Don't worry, we have over 1700 restrooms so you never have to stand in line to pee, and over 800 concession stands to choose from so you never go hungry.

Yup, Dallas Texas has their priorities in order. And that my friends is football. Cuz where would we EVER be without it? And what oh what would we do if we didn't have a brand new, over sized stadium to play in?

What? Play in the old one you say? PSHA! Why would we do something silly like play in an already existing, perfectly fine stadium?

So even though we don't have enough money to educate, feed, clothe, and treat those who suffer from horrible medical issues, by GOD we still have football! That's right, everything is bigger in Texas (including completely idiotic ideas).

1 comment:

  1. And the real kicker? The lose their first home game in their new $1.21 BILLION stadium. HAHAHAHA! That's awesome!