Tuesday, March 17, 2009

When a Good Commute Turns Bad

Okay Utah drivers, listen up. YOU SUCK!

My husband laughs when he gets in the car with me. Usually because I end up screaming my head off at the jackass who cuts me off, the woman more consumed in her cell phone conversation than she is the lines on the road, and the mini van going 30 mph in a 60 mph zone. I'm glad he finds my road rage comical. I on the other hand, I am sick of putting up with idiots who belong on a bike instead of in a car.

To the red Oldsmobile who was riding my ass this morning, pay attention: I WAS GOING THE SPEED LIMIT YOU ASSHOLE! And, I wasn't taking up space in the fast lane because I was in the middle lane. If you want to go 90 mph, get in the fast lane! Don't get up on my ass trying to force me to speed up when I'm the one abiding to the speed limit, go around me. The fast lane was WIDE open so if you want to fly down the road with your ass on fire, get in the appropriate lane instead of trying to threaten me in mine. And what business do you have driving 90 mph anyway? Jerk.

To the white Chrysler doing 40 in a 65 zone: SPEED THE HELL UP or learn to ride a bike. My guess is that the majority of the people on the road this morning were trying to get to work. You might even be one of these commuters. However, we'd all like to arrive at work BEFORE CHRISTMAS! But because I refuse to drive like the red Oldsmobile above, I'll go around you. But seriously, if you can't handle the suggested speed limit, do us all a favor and take the bus.

To the silver Lexus: nice work *claps* I appreciate the fact that when you realized I was going slightly faster than you, you moved over into a lane moving slower. I didn't have to ride your ass like the red Oldsmobile would have, and I didn't have to go around you like I did the white Chrysler. Instead, you were actually PAYING ATTENTION and realized you felt comfortable driving slightly slower than the rest of us so you kindly moved out of our lane. AND- you used your blinker to indicate your lane change. I almost fainted when that happened because, let's face it, WHEN does that happen in Utah? So again, nice work. If I had prize to award, you would have been today's winner.

To the rest of you, please visit: https://driversed.com/courses/. And in the meantime, get the hell off the road.

Oh and by the way, happy St. Patrick's Day. Don't go getting all wasted tonight and try to drive home. If this is your plan, then please fore go the above link, and instead visit: http://www.alcoholalert.com/drunk-driving-consequences.html.

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