2009 was quite a challenging year. There were wonderful things, challenging things, and bad things and overall, it was quite a struggle.
The wonderful things were the fact that my hubby came home to Utah for good after serving with the military for 20 years. No more long distance marriage and that was a beautiful thing. We also purchased and fixed up our very first home. Also a wonderful and exciting thing.
But it seems like even though these things were wonderful, they didn't seem to win over the negativity in my life in 2009.
I was working for a company I despised, in a job that I hated, for a boss who didn't pay any attention to his team, and passed me off to another guy who thinks women have no place in the work force. This environment was such a horrible one to spend 40 hours a week in that my enthusiasm for life quickly dwindled into something numb and barely even noticeable.
In November of last year, I lost a good friend to suicide and the situation still haunts me, especially with the changing of the seasons this year and the reminder of the sadness I was filling this time last year. Losing Billy was unexpected and it generated a pain that won't soon be forgotten.
My brother went through a nasty divorce during the holidays last year. This seemed to put a damper on the Christmas spirit and all things holiday related.
And even some of 2009's negativity spilled over into 2010 as I lost my job the last week of January. (I use the term "lost my job" loosely as my desire to get rid of that God-Forsaken place was as mutual as their desire to get rid of me and my threatening ability to take the marketing department above and beyond what it had the potential of being with the current people running (or lack of running I should say) the show. But they paid me some nice hush money considering the unconventional way they went about the situation).
But all that being said, even though 2010 started off rough, it has turned into something wonderful. I bid farewell to the negativity that was surrounding me on a daily basis (starting with the job). In fact, getting out of that place was the best thing I ever did. Blessing in disguise if you will. Walking out of that building, I took the first steps towards getting on the path I'm on today. And what a difference it has made!
In February I started thinking of turning my dream into a reality. I started talking, thinking, planning, and praying about starting my own company Utah Events by Design. I started believing again in my talents and abilities to start this new adventure instead of second guessing them. I picked a theme song to inspire me, to pump me up when I hit bumps in the road, to help me remember that what I was doing was going to be worth it. I selected Distant Dreamer by Duffy and listened to it once a day if not more on my computer or ipad or in the car, or wherever I could. It was MY SONG and my source for energy.
I started developing my business and all the things that went along with it to help make it a success. I started writing a business plan and developing a web site, and a facebook fan page, and blogging about the adventure, and signing up for networking groups and events, and making progress in a direction I'd always wanted to go in (go but never did because the timing wasn't right).
I started doing things for ME. I started dreaming for ME. I started planning and executing these plans for ME. And guess what? It is paying off!!!
In the last 3 months I couldn't be more thrilled with where I am in life right now. I'm running a successful business, working with clients that I enjoy working with, doing what I love doing, and being successful at it. I couldn't ask for more.
And, to bring in some extra income while I get my business off the ground, I'm consulting for a company that I adore. I work with a wonderful team of supportive, positive, and talented people who I enjoy being surrounded by on a daily basis. This opportunity has presented such a healthy environment that builds me up, helps me improve my existing strengths and teaches me as I go. I can't say enough about how wonderful it is to find yourself in a place you belong, in the time you are meant to be there.
I was even lucky enough to receive what I call "a sign" when I was doing my very first event. I was at the venue, had just pulled out all the decor I was going to set up, and decided I needed some music. I turned my iPhone on and went to the iPod and hit shuffle. Mind you, there's about 14,000 songs that could have started playing from my library, but guess which song came on first?
That's right, Distant Dreamer.
(I have a witness who can verify this).
The very moment the first few notes of that song started playing, I smiled and shed a few tears in the same breath.
And I realized, It's okay to be proud of yourself. It's okay to be confident and unsure about the future all at the same time. But most importantly, it's okay to be happy even if you're not quite standing at the top of the hill looking down just yet. It's okay to be in the right place at the right time, experiencing the exact moment you've been dreaming of, and to be satisfied and content in that moment, and perhaps a little unsure about what's to come next but confident that it will be just as good. It's okay to feel all this and know it's right all at the same time. It's okay to be happy.
And I am :)
